Birth-Mother's Day

For those who don't know:

Birth Mothers day is the Saturday before Mother's Day and is a special day where we can honor those who gave LIFE!

As soon I adopted I started celebrating this holiday. It is not widely known about, but it is probably one of the most important holidays we can celebrate. This is also not just a holiday for people closely involved with adoption. I feel like it is a holiday that celebrates good women who chose life and didn't abort. But having said that, no one even knows about this holiday. So I am asking you to remember it. Whether you know a birth mother who placed a baby, you know someone who is adopted, you know a mother who has adopted, or you just want to celebrate life, take a minute on the Saturday before Mother's Day to honor them, and to teach your children about life and how important it is.

I have been blessed to adopt four wonderful children, and each one of their birth mothers, had a very real decision to make of whether their child should live, or if they should abort. Each one, in extremely hard situations chose life. I would not have my children if they had not made the choice for them to live, and if they had not made the choice to place them in my home.

They are women that I love. I respect them for those two choices that they have made. They are not perfect, but just for those two choices, it makes them perfect in my eyes. I think of them daily and especially think of them and honor them on Birth Mother's Day. I send presents and stacks of photos to 3 of my birth mother's on this holiday. The 4th birth mother I don't get to have communication with, but I wish I could tell her how grateful I am for her.

Jamie, Felisa, Chakisha, and Angel,

I will always respect you and love you for the gift you gave my children and also our little family. You will always have a place on our family tree and we always hope that life gets amazing for you and that you are happy. Always remember our love for you.

Love,

Andrea

(and if you are a birth mother reading this, I love you too and you can put your name in place of my birth mothers. I pray for you all and hope you find peace and happiness in your lives)

Other than talking to your family and others you know about this holiday, how can you personally help birth mothers get the recognition they should have? Take gifts to a local adoption agency (little somethings), let your children help make them and take them. All you have to do is look under adoption in the phone book and you will find a whole list. Two of the agencies we used, actually bring birth mothers to Utah to have their baby. They get bored, so scrapbook stuff, gently used books, some bring children so car seats, clothing, toys, volunteer to teach a class, getting a special treat that says thank you, or really anything you can think of, would be so great for these almost birth mothers. I have talked before about me being LDS. They have Hugh needs as well and would love volunteers to spoil their birth mothers. I have a wonderful sister in law who let a birth mother live in her house (even while she was trying to find someone to give her a baby). She was paying it forward in honor of her oldest child's birth mother. She got to hold this birth mother and walk her through giving her baby up to a family that she had chosen. It was a wonderful experience for all of us, that we won't soon forget. So show some love and lets honor these amazing ladies next week.

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Origin of Birth Mothers Day:
This day was created by birth mothers in Seattle, Washington. It was first celebrated in 1990.

irthmothers in Seattle, Washington. Most birthmothers will agree that Mother's Day is a very painful holiday and these women wanted to create something that would honor their birthmotherhood.

Adoption, Foster Care Style

My first child was biological, a honeymoon baby of sorts. We haven't ever conceive again. After 5 years of trying we turned to adoption. We certainly had no idea what we were doing, because we were pioneers in this on both sides of our families. I didn't know anyone who had been a birth mother, was adopted, or had adopted children. But we felt it was what we should do. We signed up with our church agency and tried to get a baby. Not long after someone called us about a little older boy. He was 18 months and he was black. We were so excited. We even got all ready to get this cute little boy. It fell through and we were crushed. But right after our sister-in-law called and told us of a little one that she used to babysit. She was in Foster care in California and was free for adoption. She had lots of physical and mental problems. Did we want to get more information and see pictures? We said yes, but really in our heads we were thinking, No! are you crazy! But something special happened when we saw the pictures. And below is the picture we saw.We knew without a shadow of a doubt that this was our child. Half a year later we finally got her to be our foster child. Three years later we FINALLY got her adopted. And now she is 9 years old and I love her so much. She is physically so healthy and mentally is only a little behind in school (they were wrong about her mental state). She is happy and she has a family and we love her so much. We would not be happy without her in our family. During the infertile stage of my life, my heart stopped beating, because of all the sadness of not becoming a mother again. I felt guilt to my daughter that I couldn't give her the sibling that she wanted so bad. I felt broken and alone. While everyone was pregnant, I was experiencing Hell. And as soon as this little one came into my life, my heart started beating again. Yes I missed out on Two years of her life, but it doesn't seem to matter anymore to me. I have got her now and that is what matters. I was happy and I could love again. Now I have 5 children and I love them all so much.

Recently we went to an adoption celebration put on by Utah Adoption Council. They had picture after picture of children that needed parents and families. Ages varied from 2 months old to 18 years old. I walked up and down the hall, holding my children's hands and explaining to them what this was. That some kids get to be 18 and never have had a parent or stable family. It affected me and it affected my children. It is not fair that these children are alone and don't have a good family that loves them.

I think back if we hadn't fallen in love with our daughters picture.....

All the times we would have missed out on.

And so I encourage you, to search out one of these lost souls and make a difference for them. They might have baggage, they might not look like you, and it might be scary and new territory for you, but I know you will be blessed and happy for saving a child and giving them wings to fly. And who knows you might even find a beautiful angel like our little girl is.

If you are interested you can go:

http://www.utahfostercare.org/ or

http://therhouse.blogspot.com/

Adoption

So we are trying to adopt our 5th baby. If you have any