The month of thanksgiving is a month focused on thankfulness. On facebook, on our blogs, in our emails, our FHE lessons, at church, etc we talk about things we are thankful for.
But I have found with my children and with other kids that the words, "Thank You" are being said less and less. Why is it being said less? I had a couple of experiences with my kids that reminded me about the importance of saying thank you and in my opinion why it is being said less.
The first was with my daughter. She is only 8 and wanted me to curl her hair before school. I did it and it looked probably the best and cutest it ever has. When I was done, she took one look at it and said, "I can't believe you made me look so ugly". I was crushed. Not only had I taken time to do it, but I woke up early to do it. I felt personally so sad that my daughter not only didn't like it, but she was rude, and didn't even thank me for doing it in the first place. I can't remember acting that way when I was little. She starting ripping out what I had done and messing up the cute little curls.
Her Dad came in and saw what had happened and saw my face. He immediately told her to stop, that he was sorry she didn't like her hair, but it was done and she was wearing it that way. Not only did he help stop it, but then he told her that mom would not be doing her hair again until she apoligized and told me thank you for doing it. She still hasn't and of course I haven't touched her hair. I respected my husband for helping me with this issue. I am grateful that he doesn't let the kids plow over me with disrespect.
The next was with my kids trick or treating. They started out demanding which kind they wanted or saying I don't like that. I was so appalled. Immediately I told them to say thank you. At every house they would get candy and I would make them turn around and say thank you. Soon I didn't need to ask and they would do it.
It got me thinking that the reasons why are kids are saying please and thank you less is because we are not teaching them to do it. We are not expecting that they do it. WOW! I try and teach them respect by teaching them to say Aunt Somebody or Mr. Someone instead of their first name, but do I really have them say please and thank you much? no.
As I watched I realized most of the time I am to busy to mess with it. I am on the phone and they say I want water, so I give it to them and don't wait for a response when they get it.
A couple of years ago a young cub scout came to my door with a thank you note that he had written. What a novel idea to teach your young kids by teaching them to write a thank you note.
I also have a cute little reading tutor that gives a thank you note for anything you ever give her. This fall I have given her lots and lots of produce. Our family was thanked each time with a cute note. That was good for my kids to see how happy it makes you when someone else says thank you.
So this month along with focusing on being thankful, I am going to focus on teaching my kids about SAYING thank you and meaning it. I am going to take the time to teach them this, and I am going to teach them all kinds of manners so they can grow up to be successful, polite adults.
Showing posts with label Manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Manners. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Reward Charts!
I have two kids that have been having a REALLY hard time in school. One of the two also has a really hard time communicating. So we set up behavior folders for each of them. On the cover it lists their first name, teacher, and grade. Inside the folder has a pocket on each side and a three hole area for the middle. One side of the folder has a place for their homework (since it was being thrown away), grades, or things that are coming home for us to see. The other side is for extra papers (I try to make up a couple months worth of papers). The three hole area has a calendar (one of my kids sees three teachers a day so she has a calendar that has a place for all three teachers to place comments. This is what hers looks like. 
The other child has just one teacher and so she has a more of a month calendar!
It also has a reward chart that has a goal they are working on. I have the teachers pick the goal, but if you were doing something for home, you would want to. Our goals have been: Sitting in your seat and raise your hands if you need to tell the teacher something (since one likes to follow the teacher around), Telling the truth, bringing the folder to all the teachers to sign and then back home, Reading a book and telling the plot of the story at the end, Doing 10 subtraction problems, etc. If it is a hard one like sitting in your seat, then I divide that into three time periods and the teacher can give her up to three smiley faces or check marks on her reward sheet.
It also lists the reward they are going to get. So far we have done: Getting to go to the movie store and pick out your own movie to watch with the family, sleepover with grandma, Late night, game with mom and dad. It has been working really well.
My problem though is that I had to make this up as I went along. The teachers are more than happy to do the goals, and to check things off and make notes, but not to organize the whole thing. I also thought I would have been able to find really cute goal/reward charts on the Internet that I could print off. I did find some and I will put that at the end of this post, but not many. So I decided I would just make my own. That way I can decide how many they need to get in order to get their reward. When I started this, they only had to get like five. Now I have increased it, so they are having to work harder for their prize. 
The other child has just one teacher and so she has a more of a month calendar! It also has a reward chart that has a goal they are working on. I have the teachers pick the goal, but if you were doing something for home, you would want to. Our goals have been: Sitting in your seat and raise your hands if you need to tell the teacher something (since one likes to follow the teacher around), Telling the truth, bringing the folder to all the teachers to sign and then back home, Reading a book and telling the plot of the story at the end, Doing 10 subtraction problems, etc. If it is a hard one like sitting in your seat, then I divide that into three time periods and the teacher can give her up to three smiley faces or check marks on her reward sheet.It also lists the reward they are going to get. So far we have done: Getting to go to the movie store and pick out your own movie to watch with the family, sleepover with grandma, Late night, game with mom and dad. It has been working really well.
My problem though is that I had to make this up as I went along. The teachers are more than happy to do the goals, and to check things off and make notes, but not to organize the whole thing. I also thought I would have been able to find really cute goal/reward charts on the Internet that I could print off. I did find some and I will put that at the end of this post, but not many. So I decided I would just make my own. That way I can decide how many they need to get in order to get their reward. When I started this, they only had to get like five. Now I have increased it, so they are having to work harder for their prize. It has really worked for us so far. Do we still have problems? YES! At least once a week I get a note from the teacher that something has happened, and once I got a call from the principal. But overall they are working harder, being more responsible, being more behaved, and getting better grades! If I end up making more, I will post them. Also this is the site I have been using a little:
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/singlebehaviorcharts.htm
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Teaching Life Skills
I am amazed at how many parents give their children handicaps, by not teaching them to take responsibility for themselves. As we grow, we need to learn how to do things for the future. I think we do good with the oldest, but then slack off on the other children. So here are a few experiences that have changed my life, for the better.
One of my biggest issues is when young teenagers are not given opportunities to work outside of the home. I think it is really important to learn to hold a job and to learn to work with bosses. I think if you expect them to just get a job out of college with no work experience, you are crazy. Working creates really good skills and responsibility. I also feel if your child can't hold onto a job for more that a year at a time (except if he is only going to do it for the Summer), then something must be wrong (not with the employer, but your child). I feel that teaching them at an earlier age and having expectations will help with that.
I have a husband that could make bread when we got married. He is a really good cleaner, takes direction well, irons, and knows how to do lots of things that help me in my home. Yet his little brother, can barely feed himself in his adulthood. My husband is a GREAT husband, and I know it is because he learned how to take care of a family and house. He is my partner through and through. The other day I heard someone say that their husband gets mad when the living room is dirty. I thought of my husband, and the fact that he wouldn't say a word, he would just roll up his sleeves and help clean it. I think sometimes we get in the mindset that we only need to teach our daughters certain things. Enough of this! Lets teach our boys, so they can become great men, husbands, and fathers.
My husband was never taught at home about cars. He has told me many times, that he almost ruined his first car, because his dad never taught him to change the oil (or take it to someone who could). In contrast I saw my brother-in-law changing oil in his driveway. I asked him who taught him how to change oil (and save mega money through the years) he couldn't remember. He said he has been doing it his whole life.
I here people say all the time, that their teenager has no idea how to make food and would starve without them. WHAT? What happens when they go to college, or when they have a family. I am teaching my daughter to cook right now. I take the time to teach her principles of why I did what I did, and how to fix a mistake. Yes she has got burned, yes she has made some terrible things, but more and more she is getting better and makes some really nice things.
My mom once ruined a pair of my Levis. I sat and yelled at her and my dad heard. I was old enough to do my own laundry (I think I was 14), and so he said, "Mom will buy you a new pair, but then you get to do your own laundry from now on". It was the best thing for me. I now with a family of 7 spend lots of my time doing laundry, I am glad I learned how early.
Even with my 4 year old, I am teaching him how to take care of himself. Not just the usual: get dressed, brush teeth, but things like: Cleaning his room, Helping with the laundry, making his bed, Washing hand prints off the wall, and he has now mastered the art of wiping off all the counters in the kitchen and putting all the dishes in the sink. Is he perfect at these things? No, but each day he gets better and better.
So here is a list of things that we can work on now, that will make the difference in the long run:
1. Fixing a simple meal (p&b Sand.) then eating it, the cleaning up your mess
2. Cooking Dinners or Desserts
3. Taking the dry clothes out of the dryer and folding them. (and if they are still wet-what do you do?
4. Saving Money for college or something special
5. Cleaning up messes
6. If you get something messy on your clothes, how to put pre-wash on it and put it in the laundry
7. How to iron a shirt
8. How to sew on a button
9. How to make simple repairs
10. What to do in an emergency with a car (change a tire, if we are on the side of the road, changing the oil, etc)
11. Sorting Laundry into colors, and why we do that
12. Moving the wet laundry to the dryer.
13. Starting a new batch of laundry.
14. organization
15. Manners
16. The rules of Thank You notes
17. Teaching to pick up the slack if someone needs it
18. How to change sheets (and how often)
19. How to get a stain out of the carpet.
20. How to budget
21. How to balance a checkbook and handle credit cards
22. How to mow the lawn (girls need to do outside work too)
23. How to shop for a good deal
24. How to shop with coupons
25. How to do a pony tail (boys can learn to braid too)
Now I stopped at 25, but I could go on and on. There are so many skills that teenagers and young adults today are just not learning. Lots that I see involve the home: cleaning, cooking, fixing things, etc. It is my goal to have my children learn the above list (and more) sometime while they are in my care. And then when they have a life of their own (or heaven forbid- I get sick or die and really need their help), that they will know what to do. Alot of these can be taught in a fun way, that they would have no clue what you were doing. And then years later when they need the information, BAM! they remember and can do it.
So that is my thought for today. Don't forget to teach your child Life Skills! And if I missed some you want to add, just add them into the comment section. Also as a side note if you have special situations in your home, teach your kids about those and how to care for them. Like I have two black girls that I have adopted. Their hair is impossible to do. So I am teaching my 3 girls how to do their hair. I hope as teenagers, I will only assist as needed and they will learn how to do their hair. You might have a sick child, a pet, or some issue that needs to be addressed as well. Prepare them.
One of my biggest issues is when young teenagers are not given opportunities to work outside of the home. I think it is really important to learn to hold a job and to learn to work with bosses. I think if you expect them to just get a job out of college with no work experience, you are crazy. Working creates really good skills and responsibility. I also feel if your child can't hold onto a job for more that a year at a time (except if he is only going to do it for the Summer), then something must be wrong (not with the employer, but your child). I feel that teaching them at an earlier age and having expectations will help with that.
I have a husband that could make bread when we got married. He is a really good cleaner, takes direction well, irons, and knows how to do lots of things that help me in my home. Yet his little brother, can barely feed himself in his adulthood. My husband is a GREAT husband, and I know it is because he learned how to take care of a family and house. He is my partner through and through. The other day I heard someone say that their husband gets mad when the living room is dirty. I thought of my husband, and the fact that he wouldn't say a word, he would just roll up his sleeves and help clean it. I think sometimes we get in the mindset that we only need to teach our daughters certain things. Enough of this! Lets teach our boys, so they can become great men, husbands, and fathers.
My husband was never taught at home about cars. He has told me many times, that he almost ruined his first car, because his dad never taught him to change the oil (or take it to someone who could). In contrast I saw my brother-in-law changing oil in his driveway. I asked him who taught him how to change oil (and save mega money through the years) he couldn't remember. He said he has been doing it his whole life.
I here people say all the time, that their teenager has no idea how to make food and would starve without them. WHAT? What happens when they go to college, or when they have a family. I am teaching my daughter to cook right now. I take the time to teach her principles of why I did what I did, and how to fix a mistake. Yes she has got burned, yes she has made some terrible things, but more and more she is getting better and makes some really nice things.
My mom once ruined a pair of my Levis. I sat and yelled at her and my dad heard. I was old enough to do my own laundry (I think I was 14), and so he said, "Mom will buy you a new pair, but then you get to do your own laundry from now on". It was the best thing for me. I now with a family of 7 spend lots of my time doing laundry, I am glad I learned how early.
Even with my 4 year old, I am teaching him how to take care of himself. Not just the usual: get dressed, brush teeth, but things like: Cleaning his room, Helping with the laundry, making his bed, Washing hand prints off the wall, and he has now mastered the art of wiping off all the counters in the kitchen and putting all the dishes in the sink. Is he perfect at these things? No, but each day he gets better and better.
So here is a list of things that we can work on now, that will make the difference in the long run:
1. Fixing a simple meal (p&b Sand.) then eating it, the cleaning up your mess
2. Cooking Dinners or Desserts
3. Taking the dry clothes out of the dryer and folding them. (and if they are still wet-what do you do?
4. Saving Money for college or something special
5. Cleaning up messes
6. If you get something messy on your clothes, how to put pre-wash on it and put it in the laundry
7. How to iron a shirt
8. How to sew on a button
9. How to make simple repairs
10. What to do in an emergency with a car (change a tire, if we are on the side of the road, changing the oil, etc)
11. Sorting Laundry into colors, and why we do that
12. Moving the wet laundry to the dryer.
13. Starting a new batch of laundry.
14. organization
15. Manners
16. The rules of Thank You notes
17. Teaching to pick up the slack if someone needs it
18. How to change sheets (and how often)
19. How to get a stain out of the carpet.
20. How to budget
21. How to balance a checkbook and handle credit cards
22. How to mow the lawn (girls need to do outside work too)
23. How to shop for a good deal
24. How to shop with coupons
25. How to do a pony tail (boys can learn to braid too)
Now I stopped at 25, but I could go on and on. There are so many skills that teenagers and young adults today are just not learning. Lots that I see involve the home: cleaning, cooking, fixing things, etc. It is my goal to have my children learn the above list (and more) sometime while they are in my care. And then when they have a life of their own (or heaven forbid- I get sick or die and really need their help), that they will know what to do. Alot of these can be taught in a fun way, that they would have no clue what you were doing. And then years later when they need the information, BAM! they remember and can do it.
So that is my thought for today. Don't forget to teach your child Life Skills! And if I missed some you want to add, just add them into the comment section. Also as a side note if you have special situations in your home, teach your kids about those and how to care for them. Like I have two black girls that I have adopted. Their hair is impossible to do. So I am teaching my 3 girls how to do their hair. I hope as teenagers, I will only assist as needed and they will learn how to do their hair. You might have a sick child, a pet, or some issue that needs to be addressed as well. Prepare them.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Anger, Stress, and Bad Self Esteem in Children
On Sunday I was watching Shark Tank (A show that my husband and I can relate to, because we have dealt with investors). They had a lady named Lori Lite on and she was trying to get them to invest in her product. Anyway it was really cool. One book was called the Angry Octopus. It was described as this:
An Anger Management Story introducing active progressive muscular relaxation and deep breathingby Lori Lite • Illustrated by Max Stasuyk
Children love to unwind and relax with this fun exercise known as “progressive muscular relaxation”. Children relate to the angry octopus in this story as the sea child shows him how to take a deep breath, calm down, and manage his anger. This effective stress and anger management technique focuses awareness on various muscle groups to create a complete resting of the mind and body. Muscular relaxation can lower stress and anxiety levels. It can be used to decrease pain and anger. This engaging story quiets the mind and relaxes the body so your child can let go of anger and fall asleep peacefully.
This is one of four stories featured on the Indigo Ocean Dreams CD.
She also has CD's. I have already ordered some to try. Any parent that has a child with these issues understands that we will try anything to help our child. This might help. If you are interested go to:
http://stressfreekids.com/category/products/books/
An Anger Management Story introducing active progressive muscular relaxation and deep breathingby Lori Lite • Illustrated by Max Stasuyk
Children love to unwind and relax with this fun exercise known as “progressive muscular relaxation”. Children relate to the angry octopus in this story as the sea child shows him how to take a deep breath, calm down, and manage his anger. This effective stress and anger management technique focuses awareness on various muscle groups to create a complete resting of the mind and body. Muscular relaxation can lower stress and anxiety levels. It can be used to decrease pain and anger. This engaging story quiets the mind and relaxes the body so your child can let go of anger and fall asleep peacefully.
This is one of four stories featured on the Indigo Ocean Dreams CD.
She also has CD's. I have already ordered some to try. Any parent that has a child with these issues understands that we will try anything to help our child. This might help. If you are interested go to:
http://stressfreekids.com/category/products/books/
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Our Family Rules:
This was really hard for me to do. I had so many new rules I needed to add to my older household, but I didn't want to frame all of them. So I framed this one. This one is more behavior rules:
Most of these are for my 3 year old. It might look like too much, but I needed to just write them down and know what I expect.
Then I made a list of Safety Rules:
Most of these are for my 3 year old. It might look like too much, but I needed to just write them down and know what I expect. I also have another list of House rules. Rules, Rules, Rules! I know to some it might seem extreme, but for me it will give me the guidelines I need to be a better mother. They are written the like the above ones, with the following categories: Eating (Cleaning up After yourself), Friends (Friends need to clean up their mess & You need to ask before they come to play), Chores (Do Them or else you do nothing else), Watching (T.V, DVD's, or Playing the Wii), Homework & Music (Do it so you are smart), Computer (Internet safety), Respecting House (Breaking things, Etc.), Respecting God (Going to church, etc.), Respecting Visitors (Don't be wild, go on time out when you are asked, don't show off), Respecting Myself (no hurting yourself, or your body). I didn't show you a copy of this one, because they are rules my husband and I have made. But they were categories we thought were important to cover, especially as our children get older.
I put a copy off all rules in my 3 ring binder. I now keep everything to keep my family happy in it. I have all the rules, all the consequences for breaking the rules, Every one's Chore Charts, Every one's Mom Jobs, Every one's Goal Charts, What makes us happy as a family, and what makes each person happy, Mom & Dad Responsibilities, Extra Monthly Jobs, and tips I found on the Internet to help us be a great family.
I will share some of these later.
Hope this helps you, if you needed an intervention as well!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Intervention Time!
So I decided that my home is falling apart around me. I hear yelling, slamming doors, do I have to?, Crying, Why do I have to work?, Shut up, and I hate you, more than I care to.
I also see things being thrown through the air, things being spilled on purpose, the house being treated disrespectfully, hitting, slapping, and in general people being disrespectful to other people in the house, and even people being disrespectful to themselves. And let me say, we are normal. I believe I am not the only one dealing with these issues.
So I decided to have a Behavior Intervention! When is the best time for this? I am starting the day we are out of school. Which is...... tomorrow. And you know what? I am NOT going to fail! I am determined to teach my children manners and how to be respectful. (Not that I haven't been trying the whole time they have been alive, but this is different. We got a little lazy and I think it showing. Also we have been stressed out with my mom being sick, my husband losing his job, then he got a new job, and in general life. I think when you are stressed out you slack off on certain things).No More!
Where to start?
I started my journey with of course the Super Nanny. Well not her, but ideas on her website http://www.supernanny.com I guess I am too prideful, because I probably should be on the show but........... No Way! That website had some interesting things. I did really like the reward chart for age 3 to 5 year olds.
I really liked this article. It was stuff I already knew, or common stuff, but it is always nice to have a refresher!
I also found an interesting article called Taking Back Control of Your Family. My husband and I have a strong marriage, so I just quickly read through that part and then focused on the second part. I loved the second part. I think what she says makes sense. I liked her so much, I even went to her home page.
I really suggest this lady. I really liked her. On her main page it address any topic you would need. I found even more information for my little intervention. I loved A Parent's Guide for Raising Children. As you can tell it has a little religion in it. I was so happy to find that she belongs to the same church I do. That makes it even easier.
So I have decided to start with this plan:
1. I will have a fun activity planned for my children in the afternoon. They will get to participate only if their work was finished, homework was done, and if our rules have not been broken.
2. At the start I will give them so many mess ups of the rules. Ex. throwing things, I will start with 10 warnings. The next day 9 and so on. If the child does lower than I expected he will get something special in addition to the fun activity.
3. I will put my children on a schedule. I was told by my child's therapist, that any more than a week not on a schedule can mess kids up that have bad behaviors. It makes them feel out of control.
4. I already post our family rules on the wall in our kitchen, but I am not happy with them, so I will change them to fit our needs at this time.
5. I will focus on her stuff on a "Happy Family"
6. I will make sure that they are learning and are happy and loved!
7. I will do my best to not react to their bad behavior. I will make sure I don't get upset, I will just give out the consequence.
8. My husband and I will follow through and enforce the things we decide to do.
9. I will try to stay home while we are having this intervention. When results come about we will try to go fun places.
10. and as always we will pray for our family and try to be good examples.
Anyway this is what I am trying. If you have any ideas, feel free to put them in the comment section. I think as parents, every idea is a help to us. At the end of this Summer I hope I will not be pushing my kids out the door, but feeling sad that they are going back to school. That is the goal!
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Special Valentine Dinner
For Valentine's Day I hold a special dinner for my kids and husband. It is VERY fancy. My husband and I used to go out to dinner, but found that all we seemed to do was sit waiting for our table. Also who wants to babysit on Valentine's day. So instead I started having a dinner, after the kids went to bed. But then my kids got older and needed to have later bedtimes. That is when I came up with a Valentine's Dinner for the whole family. I don't make my kids dress up, but I do have them help me set the table. They have to learn where everything goes, so it is correct. They also help me cook the dinner. Then we invite Dad in. Dad doesn't help, he just gets to eat. Before the dinner I sit my girls down and we talk about how we eat, how we talk, and how we act at a very special meal. I feel good about this, because it will prepare them for when they start to date. Good habits start young! Anyway here are some tips I found on the Internet. It was a website called http://life.familyeducation.com/ It also had lots of tips on how to prepare for a formal dinner.
1. Cutlery. Don't hold your fork like a cello or your knife like Lady Macbeth's dagger. Also, don't wave your cutlery triumphantly in the air to emphasize a point and don't put silverware partly on the table and partly on the plate. After you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again. Knives go on the plate, blade facing in and touching the inside of the plate. Only the handle should rest on the rim of the plate.
2. Napkins. Don't blot or rub the lower half of your face. Dab delicately. Don't flap your napkin to unfold it and don't wave it around like a flag. It belongs unfolded on your lap. If you leave the table, place your napkin on the chair and push the chair back under the table. Gently. Watch the upholstery. Don't refold your napkin at the end of the meal because an unknowing server might give it to another diner. Pick up the napkin from the center and place it loosely on the table to the left of your plate.
3. Chewing. Never chew with your mouth open. Also, no matter how urgently you want to inject the perfect kernel of wit and wisdom at just the right moment, don't do it with food in your mouth. And don't gulp and blurt. Finish chewing, swallow, and smile philosophically, content in the knowledge that you could have said just the right thing, but had too much class to speak with food in your mouth.
4. Appearance. Remember what your mother said: Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table. If you have any doubt about where your hands belong, put them in your lap.
5. Breaking bread. Here is a real bread-and-butter tip. Tear bread into bite-size pieces and butter each piece just before you eat it. Don't butter the entire slice of bread or the entire roll to get it ready for occasional bites during the course of the meal.
6. Speed. Take it easy. Whether you're at the Ritz Carlton or Gertie's Grease Pit, gulping down food is not only unhealthy but also unattractive, and it can cross the line into rudeness when dining with others. Dining partners should have the same number of courses and start and finish each one at about the same time. Don't be huddling over your soup while others are salivating for dessert or vice versa.
7. Don't pick! If you have something trapped between your teeth, don't pick at it while you are at the table. If it's really driving you nuts, excuse yourself, go to the restroom, and pick to your heart's content.
I also found this quiz and I took it. I did learn something that I didn't know. So take this quiz (kids can too) to see how good you are with manners at the table:
http://quizzes.familyeducation.com/manners/respect/55534.html
My sister takes this one step further. She plans a date out with each of her kids on their 16th birthday. Boys go with mom, and Girls go with dad. They go to a really nice expensive dinner and then a play. She gives them pointers so that they know how to behave on a date. I really like this idea! As Martha would say: "Its a good thing"
1. Cutlery. Don't hold your fork like a cello or your knife like Lady Macbeth's dagger. Also, don't wave your cutlery triumphantly in the air to emphasize a point and don't put silverware partly on the table and partly on the plate. After you pick up a piece of cutlery, it should never touch the table again. Knives go on the plate, blade facing in and touching the inside of the plate. Only the handle should rest on the rim of the plate.
2. Napkins. Don't blot or rub the lower half of your face. Dab delicately. Don't flap your napkin to unfold it and don't wave it around like a flag. It belongs unfolded on your lap. If you leave the table, place your napkin on the chair and push the chair back under the table. Gently. Watch the upholstery. Don't refold your napkin at the end of the meal because an unknowing server might give it to another diner. Pick up the napkin from the center and place it loosely on the table to the left of your plate.
3. Chewing. Never chew with your mouth open. Also, no matter how urgently you want to inject the perfect kernel of wit and wisdom at just the right moment, don't do it with food in your mouth. And don't gulp and blurt. Finish chewing, swallow, and smile philosophically, content in the knowledge that you could have said just the right thing, but had too much class to speak with food in your mouth.
4. Appearance. Remember what your mother said: Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table. If you have any doubt about where your hands belong, put them in your lap.
5. Breaking bread. Here is a real bread-and-butter tip. Tear bread into bite-size pieces and butter each piece just before you eat it. Don't butter the entire slice of bread or the entire roll to get it ready for occasional bites during the course of the meal.
6. Speed. Take it easy. Whether you're at the Ritz Carlton or Gertie's Grease Pit, gulping down food is not only unhealthy but also unattractive, and it can cross the line into rudeness when dining with others. Dining partners should have the same number of courses and start and finish each one at about the same time. Don't be huddling over your soup while others are salivating for dessert or vice versa.
7. Don't pick! If you have something trapped between your teeth, don't pick at it while you are at the table. If it's really driving you nuts, excuse yourself, go to the restroom, and pick to your heart's content.
I also found this quiz and I took it. I did learn something that I didn't know. So take this quiz (kids can too) to see how good you are with manners at the table:
http://quizzes.familyeducation.com/manners/respect/55534.html
My sister takes this one step further. She plans a date out with each of her kids on their 16th birthday. Boys go with mom, and Girls go with dad. They go to a really nice expensive dinner and then a play. She gives them pointers so that they know how to behave on a date. I really like this idea! As Martha would say: "Its a good thing"
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Charts
You are probably noticing that I put a lot of ideas up about behavior. That is because that is what I am dealing with at home. I want my children to be good kids, respectful, loving, friendly, etc. Everything I have learned about behavior, whether it is reading or a therapist, they have said to change it up quite a bit. So for me we take breaks on some stuff and do new stuff and then return when they are excited about doing it again. It really seems to work. Anyway today's idea:
I am a fan of charts for kids. This is an example of one I did for good behavior in the car. They get a sticker if they are quiet, a sticker if they are fast getting to the car, a sticker for good behavior, a sticker for cleaning up mess in car, and so on. They can have this every time you drive somewhere. I put it in plastic protectors and we keep it in the car. It makes it really easy to motivate good behavior.I am doing charts right now that I found under My favorite websites/Charts. I printed up a different one for each child and gave each of them a goal I wanted. For Example two have the goal of Cleaning their room before school and turning off their light. One has the goal of going to time out and staying there. Lastly one has the goal of not hitting. When the simple chart is filled they get a surprise.
Easy and so far a great motivator. Here is the website or look on the side area.
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